Wedding Slide Show and Marriage Announcement of Dreamlyn and Garrett from Flagstaff, Arizona
[Slideshow made by Cameron + Kelly Studios in Flagstaff, AZ]
Drop them a comment at the site.
Dream and Garrett's cake topper is below. SO cute!
As usual, I URGE you to support bw and others who support you along with anyone from any group who represents bw well. This is something that we must focus on and DO. It's about Reciprocity. We must represent ourselves well, support each other, lift up others who are on our slice of life up as well as all of the others who continuously support us. If we don't support us, why would you expect someone else to do it?
#2
The following exchange occurred recently between me and one of my avid readers, SZ--seen here below on the right in the yellow dress in this pic. It just goes to show that SOME AA women are Moving On. Her note made me happy. I MOVED ON in my
very early 20s and it has made a world of positive difference in my life.
Also, I am so happy that the value of education was drilled into me from a young age because with a certain amount of higher education, an AA woman can CHOOSE to live a life that any bw with severely limited education can only dream of. It's not guaranteed though; you have to CHOOSE to live a life of quality. Remember that the "The Quality of YOUR life Depends (mostly) on YOUR decisions. (Subtitle of my BOOK 2). One of the absolute BEST things you can do for any AA girl or woman is to emphasize the importance of education to her and patiently break it down to her how higher education can lift her up. Education is one of the absolute strongest cards for a typical AA girl or woman. Please EMPHASIZE that to AA girls and women wherever and whenever you get the opportunity because young AA females WILL usually listen.
Hi Evia,It's SZ again. I wrote you a while back & you posted an email from me regarding Black women being held responsible for the decisions of Black men. I also told you that I was planning on going to Turkey to live for a while.
I was reading your latest entry and saw where you, once again, heralded the benefits of Black women living abroad. I cannot even tell you just how much I agree. Living in Turkey has been such an eye-opening & empowering experience for me. I live in a city where there aren't ANY Black people (with the exception of the BM foreign English teacher at my school who lives across town), and most of these people have NEVER seen a Black person in person. I get stared at like you wouldn't believe, and I must admit that it is often so pervasive that I'm disturbed by it, and can even find it a bit paralyzing at times (I'm talking about people stopping, turning around and staring at me, LOL)
That being said, I absolutely ADORE visiting Istanbul, which is only an hour and a half bus ride away from my town. I try to go every other weekend to meet up with my friend, a Black woman from Tennessee who teaches English at a university there (and who also has quite a handsome Turkish boyfriend who speaks no English; but THIS sista is fluent in Turkish after only 2 years of living there). When I arrived in Istanbul, I was immediately taken to the town where I live, but had to return that weekend to retrieve my lost luggage from the airport. Since there is a reasonable (albeit small) population of Africans in Istanbul, the staring wasn't as blatant and rude. A Turkish friend met me at the bus station and took me to the airport. As we were on the train and walking around, I noticed a lot of the men weren't just staring, they were "looking," if you know what I mean. My friend started randomly laughing and told me that two (very attractive) men were behind me whispering about beautiful I was. When we retrieved my 35kg piece of luggage from the airport and tried to get it down the steps to the subway, two men jetted across the street to carry it for us. Also, a lot of them came up to me and welcomed me to their country (in the best English they could muster) and then promptly tried
I stayed with my Black friend in Istanbul for a week because I was so mesmerized by everything. When I'd walk down the street to the store or internet cafe, men would say things to us as we passed. My friend told me they were saying things like, "how beautiful," and "can I please know you?" At the internet cafe, the owner spoke a bit of English, and would not let me have a bit of peace whenever I was there. He found out I was a teacher and took to calling me, "my teacher." We were in a restaurant when two Turkish guys heard us speaking English, asked where we were from, and struck up a conversation with us in English. I've been on several dates with one of them and he always takes me clubbing (and pays for EVERYTHING) whenever I'm in Istanbul.
Now, I'm not the type of woman whose self-esteem is bolstered by male attention. My mama raised me better than that. That being said, it is extremely refreshing to feel that, for the first time in my life, my Blackness is not seen as a shortcoming or flaw but a positive trait. I jokingly bragged to one of my friends back home, "I feel like one of those racially ambiguous video girls over here!" Perhaps it is just because I'm exotic and different, but who the hell cares?!? The point is, every Black woman deserves to know what it feels like to be viewed as desirable BECAUSE she's Black, not DESPITE being Black. I've told all of my BW friends that living abroad is a MUST and now most of them seem EXTREMELY interested in the idea (even though the unspoken tagline is that they'll probably be getting to know a lot of non-BM...which none of them seem to have a problem with, surprisingly).
Ok, onto my next subject (sorry for this ridiculously long email)! I keep in touch with everybody back home through the internet, so I'm constantly on Facebook. One of my BM friends posted a status that read, "Lookin for my Coretta Scott King or My Betty Shabazz.... They Don't make women like that anymore....Support your man Ladies no matter what, he may not be a Dr. King or a Malcolm X, but Dr. King or Malcolm X wouldn't be who they were if Coretta or Betty wasn't supportive of them. A great woman brings out the best in her man....Now ask yourself ladies, are you wifey material?" I then changed my status to read, "Brothas (and I say this with love), don't even bother looking for a woman like Coretta, Betty, Myrlie or Michelle if you're not a man like Martin, Malcolm, Medgar, or Barack.
Those women chose to partner with and support men who were WORTH investing in. Are you?"
My ex, a BM, replies and includes this statement: "I have heard plenty of sisters hollering they need a Barack in their life. In fact, a sista in Essence wrote an excellent essay about how the First Lady was with Barack before he was successful when he was a broke ass community organizer."
Evia, this is a bullshit lie that has been allowed to be perpetuated for far too long. I too have seen articles and blogs using this couple as a way of convincing Black women to take a chance on the "big-eared, broke, awkward community organizer" and hope for the big payout. Here's the problem with this argument, BARACK OBAMA WAS NOT A BROKE COMMUNITY ORGANIZER WHEN HE MET AND/OR MARRIED MICHELLE ROBINSON.
Simple timeline:
1981- graduates with B.A. from Columbia University (spends several years after working for interest groups in NYC)
June 1985- May 1988 - works as community organizer in Chicago
August 1988 - enters Harvard Law School and was selected as editor of Harvard Law Review by the end of his 1st year (selected as president at the end of his 2nd year)
Summer 1989 - works as summer associate at the prestigious Sidley Austin law firm where he meets Michelle (who, at first, did not want to date one of the few other Blacks working there)
Summer 1991 - graduates from Harvard with J.D. and returns to Chicago
April to October 1992 - directed IL's Project Vote; a nonprofit that registered 150,000 nonregistered Black voters during that time
Fall 1992 - begins tenure as a professor at the University of Chicago Law School
October 1992 - marries Michelle
1993 - joins law firm that specialized in civil rights litigation and neighborhood economic development
So, there it is. When Barack MET Michelle, he already had a B.A. from an Ivy League University, had dedicated several years of his life to community service, entered Harvard Law School, and had been elected the editor of its review. He was NOT a broke ass community organizer!!! Michelle was not taking a chance on this guy! Michelle, being the highly intelligent woman that she is, saw that this man didn't just have "potential." (IMO, potential is for teenagers; not grown ass people anyway) This man was ACCOMPLISHED. He was a sure bet if I've ever seen one! Besides, even if he HAD still been a broke ass community organizer when they met (which he was NOT), he was already an educated and gainfully employed man who'd shown a love for his community and a drive to overcome obstacles.
People are so damn dedicated to getting Black women to settle for bullshit that they'll just BLATANTLY LIE. Damn shame...
Anyway, thanks again for your wonderful blog and for telling it like it is!!!
Sincerely,
SZ
p.s. I actually took a picture of those two guys carrying my luggage and I'm attaching it, LOL. I'm also attaching a picture of me, and two of my friends in front of the Sultanhamet in Istanbul. I'm the one in the yellow dress. The other Black girl is from FL and lives and teaches in South Korea. She was passing through Istanbul on her way to visit friends in Rome...isn't that fabulous?!? The Asian girl is from Kyrgyzstan and she's currently studying in Egypt. You get to meet the most interesting people when you live abroad!
Hey SZ! You've made a fabulous move. That one decision to move to
Turkey will change the entire course of your life for the better. I
believe that because you're obviously a "critical thinking" bw. That's
exactly what I mean when I say that the "quality of your life depends
on your decisions/choices." I made similar decisions and thus the
quality of my life was tremendously changed for the better.
You are really a beacon for other bw and it will really
make a big difference for them to see that one of them has made the
decision that you have and ACTED on your decision. Your note will jerk
some of them into action. Too many of them are still merely TALKING
and WAITING. And waaaaay too many of them are still listening to bm
who continue to repeat dumb stuff, like the bm you mentioned. Naturally
he's going to continue to feed bw empty excuses, but I love the way
you did the comparison between the typical bm and Obama. LOL! NO
comparison. So you sliced and diced that jibberish perfectly!!
By
the time you get back to the States, you're actually going to believe
that you're a beautiful, desirable woman because that's what happens
when you're around men who keep telling you that you're beautiful and TREAT you like you're valuable. That's the reason why I feel quite attractive
and desirable--because I've made it a point to mainly be around men who
saw me that way. So many AA women don't realize that they're CHOOSING
to remain around men who reject their beauty and overall desirability rather than be around men
who embrace their beauty and desireability.
Anyway, ENJOY yourself with those Turkish guys. LOL!
Evia
HER REPLY:
Evia,
Please feel free to post my note. I'd be happy to serve as any
inspiration. I'd also like to stress that there is a population of
regular ole BP living abroad like you wouldn't believe. I say that
because I know a lot of BW might be wary to move someplace where there
are NO BP. I actually do live someplace like that, LOL (even Istanbul
is a lil extreme), but I managed to find BP. I was at my school,
sitting around waiting on the bus with the other Turkish teachers when
two Black girls just appeared. I ran across the grass and we all
hugged and yelled like we were old friends (the Turkish teachers
thought it was rather odd that I didn't know these women & had
embraced them so warmly).
Ends up, one of the girls was there for an
interview (for a job she didn't take) and her friend was visiting her
(the one from FL who was on her way to Rome). They'd met a couple of
years ago when they both taught in South Korea. The girl from FL went
to an HBCU and is only 26. The girl who currently lives in Istanbul
just turned 30. I just turned 25. I know that our youth and lack of
ties (kids, husbands, houses, etc) assists us in doing these things,
but there comes a time when no more excuses can be made. I have a MPA
and turned down the position of Dir of PR for the Dept of Music at the
University of __________ to move to Turkey, and I'm glad I did.
You only get one life, might as well get some interesting memories!
-SZ
Yes, SZ and from an older bw to a younger bw, let me mention that when you get older, GOOD memories are going to be critically important to you. Good memories will warm you, and help to get you through many rough periods of life.
Another thing that will be important is having NO Regrets. It is one of the greatest tragedies to let your one life pass by and have nothing to show for it but a basketfull of REGRETS. That's why I advise AA women to just MOVE ON. I remember reading in a piece written by Nikki Giovanni about a character in a Toni Morrison novel where she said that when you cut down the tree where a robin has its nest, the bird will continue to fly around the space where the tree was, until it falls to the ground and dies. Doesn't that remind you of how so many AA women--unlike YOU--are in a holding pattern circling around an empty space WAITING. Birds like robins are territorial creatures; they can't adjust to a changed environment, BUT bw CAN and MUST adjust. This is why we must ALL encourage AA women to change their thinking and actions and just MOVE ON and to stop flying around the space where the tree maybe once WAS, once upon a time, LONG ago. AA women must break out of that holding pattern and MOVE ON! So keep us posted.
#3Please forward the below to someone who can benefit from it.------ Let's get the word out!
FREE MASTERS PROGRAM
AT WAKE
FOREST
RECEIVES POOR RESPONSE
Wake Forest University
has an opportunity for minority students to attend its MBA program
for FREE, and so far, the response has been very poor. Please, pass
along this opportunity to your friends, families, and networks to
see if there is an interest. This is a great school and a
tremendous opportunity to attend a top graduate school.
See details below. The contact person information is:
Derrick S. Boone, Ph.D.
Associate Professor of Marketing
Room 3139 Worrell
Professional Center
Babcock Graduate School
of Management
Wake Forest University
1834 Wake
Forest Drive Winston-Salem , NC
27109-8758
email:
derrick.boone@..
Website: http://mba.wfu.edu/
Phone:
(336)..758.4475;
Toll-free: (866)
925-3622;
Fax:
& nbsp; 336.758.4514
Message from Derrick S. Boone, Ph.D.:
Greetings, I wanted to let you know about a great opportunity here
at Wake Forest where you can get a FREE education and get PAID
while you're doing it. Our Dean of the Schools of Business is the
former CEO of PepsiCo and very committed to diversity. He's gone
around to his CEO friends, who have agreed to donate a bunch of
money to pay tuition and fees, provide a stipend, and a job, to
diverse students. The details are below. The problem is, response
to the program has been dismal! As a faculty member, I would be
embarrassed for him to have to tell his CEO friends, "thanks
so much for your donation, but unfortunately I have to give it back
because we couldn't find Any students who wanted it." So, I
need your help. Please contact me if you, or ANYONE you know is
interested in the program. I want to help out as many young
scholars as I can. Don't worry about whether or not you (or they)
have taken the GMAT, etc. All you need to do at this point is JUST
APPLY.
About the Program: The Master of Art in Management program is
designed specifically for liberal arts majors only. The MA degree
program is a 10 month intense study of the basic functional areas
of Business. After graduation and working for approximately
two years, all MA graduates are eligible to apply to Wake Forest as part of the MA/MBA
joint degree program and get the MBA in one year. The new Dean,
Steve Reinemund, has created a new scholarship for diverse students
pursuing the MA degree called the Corporate Fellowship.
The Corporate Fellowship provides full tuition and a $21,000
stipend to cover living expenses. Additionally, each Corporate
Fellow will participate in a practicum. The practicum has two
components,educational and professional development. Each student
will be assigned a mentor that is a high level executive with their
sponsor corporation.The mentor will oversee an educational project
covering 4 of the functional areas of business using their own
corporation as the subject.
The student will visit the corporation 3-4 times during the program
to present his/her results of their research project. Additionally,
the "professional development" component of the
fellowship provides career coaching and leadership development for
the students.
The goal for the corporation is to be able to groom and hopefully,
hire a top candidate from a diverse background for their
organization. Of course, there is no obligation that the students
accept any offer ofemployment. Still, the student benefits, even if
they are not ultimately hired by their sponsor corporation in that
they have the MA degree and the t ype of experience that will make
them more marketable.
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