Here are my husband, Darren, and Adanna, my granddaughter, when she was 20 months old. Of her 3 granddads, I think she views him as the granddad who is her buddy, her BFF. He has endless patience with her, teaches her math concepts, spends time helping her put puzzles together, build Lego structures, tells her the names of different plants when they go walking, talks to her about the needs and personality of each plant, plays ball with her, acts like a silly goose with her, splashes in the swimming pool with her and gives her tips on water safety, etc. He is helping her to develop a thought system about the world that teaches her that knowing things, learning about nature, knowing how things operate and how each thing connects with other things, and that participating in various activities are all very important.
He could just as well spend that time with her playing a video game or watching TV, except that he knows that would be of much less value to her. Watching TV is a spectator activity. Motivating her to use her brain to connect dots about abstract concepts and the environment helps her to develop a way of viewing the world and to more confidently participate in it. What has this got to do with marriage, you might wonder. Well, [Read more…]