Thanks EMR for sending this NYT marriage announcement of this couple. Wishing them a smooth and bountiful life. I zoomed in on what the groom said that attracted him most to her. The article said:
Mr. Savoye was instantly enamored of her.
“I was intrigued by a number of things,” he said, listing her profession — they were both lawyers, but she was in corporate law — her worldliness, and the easy conversation the two shared. Also, he said, “I clearly just found her superattractive.”
So along with her feminine desirability, he found her fascinating. She engaged his mind and his heart, and all else followed. As a mature and worldly woman, I’ve known for decades that men are wildly attracted to and remain with women who can engage their minds and keep it pointed at her. A smart man will stick like glue to a woman like that. This is why I’ve virtually begged black woman in all of my blog articles for over a decade to develop themselves to the utmost in all kinds of ways. This is the greatest aphrodisiac because it will lure and keep the man’s mind and heart forever. Not concerned about a man’s groin because the woman who has engaged a man’s mind and heart will always take priority in his life.
This is why smart men–the men who matter–aren’t dazzled for more than a minute by the women who carry themselves like the Amber Roses or Kim-Ks of the world enough to marry them or remain committed to them. Let’s face it, the smarter men in any small or large region of the world–the men who matter–won’t commit their heart and soul to women of that type, and unless they’re suffering from a severe emotional deficit or mental disability (or are drunk), they definitely and absolutely refuse to mingle their bloodline with them (have children by them), or leave their legacy to them. OMG–NO!
This is not a put-down of women like Amber Rose or Kim-K. There’ve always been and always will be women like them in the world and those women offer what they can. No one should fault them for that. ‘A woman’s gotta do what a woman’s gotta do.’ It’s not their fault that the bottom-feeding, ghetto, aka coonish subculture that apparently most Black American millennials (particularly prominent and a high proportion of other black American males) subscribe to and have exalted and promoted to the world these days–have turned women of this sort into icons of female (wifely) desirability. Males in other groups use women like them for sex, but NOT for marriage, and this has always been the case. As a devotee of Anthropology, there is rarely anything new under the sun. Male hormones have not changed one bit. It’s overwhelmingly the group of bottom-feeding black American adult-age males who have placed women like these women on a pedestal and promoted them as having wifely and motherhood traits. These males have championed these women in every media form available to them because these males are severely defective/damaged in their thinking. So many black people (in particular) either refuse to or are unable to see that or continue to overlook/forget that.
Unfortunately, this means that the vast majority of young black American boys are strongly influenced by adult-aged black males in their social and media environment to pursue the Amber Rose-KimK and other stripper type women as love-interests, serious partners, mothers of their children, or wives. It is just a fact that if even worms are promoted and advertised enough, many people–of a certain type–will start viewing worms as a delicacy.
Fortunately, the overwhelming most of other males in the world, the smarter ones, still strongly pursue quality women.
Sadly many black American women have entered the lowest period of black American women’s existence because they try to look and behave like the Ambers and Kim-Ks in order to catch the eye of off-thinking black males. Beyond sad! This is the equivalent of a curse on black American women. Black people can deny this all they want, but all anyone has to do is look at how lowly black American women, who mainly chase after and desire these bottom feeding males–have sunk. A curse doesn’t get any worse than that–for any group of woman–because the status of any group of women (and their children) in the world is joined with the men with whom those women choose to mingle. What’s most terrible about this is that the black American women who don’t think like this or don’t do this have not found a clean, effective way to separate themselves from those who do.
Keep trying! This kind of insanity is the reason why I’ve sometimes labeled myself as a PAB (passing as black).
Many black Americans will dispute this and (some black American women have even wanted and actually tried to literally hurt me for saying this.) They claim that even many non-black women want or prefer a bottom feeding black man. Yes, some white and other nonblack women choose to mingle with bottom-feeding black males, but non-black women (particularly the white ones) have the white privilege that they later on use to dust themselves off and say they went insane for a minute. They are usually then forgiven by other whites and accepted back among them. The population of black-white biracial children has grown astronomically and according to statistics that I’ve cited here before, a high percentage (more than 80%) of black-white (and other) biracial children have been abandoned by their black fathers and are now living with their non-black babymama moms on government subsidies. Or these mothers place their biracial children in adoption homes and walk away from them because this is how some non-black women get rid of the evidence of this insane time in their lives. They get rid of their mistake and go on with their lives. Others change their identity to an extent or hide their past in other ways. Black women seldom have this privilege of hiding their past. Many other non-white women in world don’t have this privilege either and this is why they steer clear of the bottom-feeder type men.
EMR, thanks a bunch for this note from you:
My husband and I are happily settled in SoCal. I’ve left the boarding school and am working at a progressive school right near the shore outside LA. We are looking for an apt halfway between both our jobs and closer to the beach. In a few weeks we’ll celebrate our 7th anniversary! I can hardly believe how fast it’s gone. He and I work really well together to accomplish our goals and work towards our dreams.
I hope (I know) you and Darren are enjoying life. I, too, meet black women my age who seem ‘bewildered’ by their social circumstances. They are still waiting for permission, to travel, to date, to try new hobbies. On the bright side, I see all kinds of black women in LA with their partners, lots of Asian male spouses, lots of quirky, artsy lovely young women enjoying life.
My best to you!
Congratulations on your upcoming 7th year marriage anniversary! Darren and I have been together for about 17 years now. Marriage has its highs, and it has its lows, but if a woman has vetted her guy, and they’re both committed to building a lasting relationship, the rewards are so worth it. Tremendous, multi-layered benefits–most of which are invisible. It’s so hard to explain this to those who have not found a CQLL partner and have not married. I have lately stopped trying.
So good to hear that many of those black women in LA have caught the clue and are securing partners! I know that some of them will not always choose the best quality men, but they can never learn to hit the ball if they don’t practice swinging at it. LOL! NO woman needs to go through life unpartnered. After all, we know from evo-bio-Anthropology that ever woman can get a male, but not every male can get a female. This is true of 99.999% of the females and males of all species on earth.
Thanks again to all of you who helped to compile this vital information regarding the benefits of marriage. Marriage naysayers are right when they say that a marriage contract is a ‘piece of paper,’ but it’s a highly valuable piece of paper.
Read about ‘some’ of the reasons why that ‘piece of paper’ is still pursued by so many of those who have upper strata (middle class, upper middle class, wealthier) values. Some will say that these people marry because they can afford to marry, but I say that these people are in the upper strata and remain there for generations largely because they marry. I would certainly beg those in my lineage to keep this in mind, no matter what naysayers may say about marriage. Another thing those in my lineage and anyone else who’s interested should know about me is that I enjoy the benefits of being a member of an upper strata class because I married and remain married, and satisfactorily so.
MARRIAGE RIGHTS AND BENEFITS
Learn some of the legal and practical ways that getting married changes your life.
Whether or not you favor marriage as a social institution, there’s no denying that it confers many rights, protections, and benefits — both legal and practical. Some of these vary from state to state, but the list typically includes:
* Filing joint
* Creating a “family partnership” under federal tax laws, which allows you to divide business income among family members.
Estate Planning Benefits
* Inheriting a share of your spouse’s estate.
* Receiving an exemption from both estate taxes and gift taxes for all property you give or leave to your spouse.
* Creating life estate trusts that are restricted to married couples, including , QDOT trusts, and marital deduction trusts.
* Obtaining priority if a conservator needs to be appointed for your spouse — that is, someone to make financial and/or medical decisions on your spouse’s behalf.
* Receiving veterans’ and military benefits for spouses, such as those for education, medical care, or special loans.
* Receiving public assistance benefits.
* Obtaining insurance benefits through a spouse’s employer.
* Taking family leave to care for your spouse during an illness.
* Receiving wages, workers’ compensation, and retirement plan benefits for a deceased spouse.
* Taking bereavement leave if your spouse or one of your spouse’s close relatives dies.
* Visiting your spouse in a hospital intensive care unit or during restricted visiting hours in other parts of a medical facility.
* Making medical decisions for your spouse if he or she becomes incapacitated and unable to express wishes for treatment.
* Consenting to after-death examinations and procedures.
* Making burial or other final arrangements.
* Filing for stepparent or joint adoption.
* Applying for joint foster care rights.
* Receiving equitable division of property if you divorce.
* Receiving spousal or child support, child custody, and visitation if you divorce.
* Living in neighborhoods zoned for “families only.”
* Automatically renewing leases signed by your spouse.
* Receiving family rates for health, homeowners’, auto, and other types of insurance.
* Receiving tuition discounts and permission to use school facilities.
* Other consumer discounts and incentives offered only to married couples or families.
Other Legal Benefits and Protections
* Suing a third person for wrongful death of your spouse and loss of consortium (loss of intimacy).
* Suing a third person for offenses that interfere with the success of your marriage, such as and criminal conversation (these laws are available in only a few states).
* Claiming the marital communications privilege, which means a court can’t force you to disclose the contents of confidential communications between you and your spouse during your marriage.
* Receiving crime victims’ recovery benefits if your spouse is the victim of a crime.
* Obtaining immigration and residency benefits for noncitizen spouse.
* Visiting rights in jails and other places where visitors are restricted to immediate family.
#2 –Felicia sent in a couple of MUST-READ articles re Social Security, pension, and other financial PENALITIES for unmarried bw. Read them in THIS Post.
#3– Sloane (sistrunkqueen) sent the following vital information about many of the SOCIAL, EMOTIONAL, SPIRITUAL, and HEALTH benefits of marriage.
by Youmasu J. Siewe, Ph.D, MPH.
If you are currently married, divorced once or ten times, a career bachelor, or just contemplating marriage, this article might be of interest to you.
What is marriage? Marriage is the following:
The institution that legally, spiritually and culturally binds and recognizes man and woman as partners.
The most valued and beautiful of all human relationships and a fundamental social institution which is central to the nurture and raising of children.
It is the ‘social glue’ that reliably attaches fathers to children.
It contributes to the physical, emotional and economic health of men, women and children. A strong commitment to marriage is therefore fundamental to the health and stability of any home, community or nation.
What do Americans think about marriage? Studies indicate that having a happy marriage is one of the most important desires of Americans. However, more and more Americans are becoming less likely to marry or remain married. About 50% of American marriages end in divorce for multiple reasons, and some as vague as “irreconcilable differences”.
What are some general benefits of marriage? Health and family science researchers cite the following as benefits of marriage:
Marriage tends to improve the way people think about themselves, their spouse, others, and the future.
Husbands and wives are more likely to do unselfish things for each other and for their families than they would do if unmarried.
Individuals who are married are more responsible to their communities and the nation.
Individuals committed to one another in marriage can come home and find a place to understand each other deeply and redefine ways to fulfill their roles to themselves, their community and nation.
What are physical health benefits of Marriage:
Married people across cultures have better health than unmarried people.
Married individuals have lower rates of alcoholism than their unmarried counterparts because they tend to offer encouragement, support, and protection from daily problems that could otherwise lead them to using alcohol and other drugs.
Married men and women have lower suicide rates than unmarried ones because married people have meaningful social networks of friends and relatives. Meaningful relationships give people a sense of personal value and a feeling of responsibility to others.
Married individuals have less illness, accidents, and murder; they are less likely to die from all causes, including heart disease, stroke, cancer, car accidents, and murder.
Married individuals spend less time in hospitals and have higher recovery rates.
Married individuals tend to have stronger immune systems, making them less likely to catch colds and develop other illnesses than unmarried ones.
What are the emotional health benefits of marriage?
Married individuals have the lowest rates of depressions and schizophrenias compared to the unmarried.
They tend to handle stress and anxiety better than their unmarried counterparts.
Marriage tends to make individuals to be more motivated to do well at work and to persevere through stressful situations.
Married persons are less likely to be lonely because they always have someone to share their thoughts, feelings, and lives with.
Married persons are more likely to report feeling hopeful, happy, and good about themselves.
Married couples have sex more often and enjoy it more physically and emotionally than their unmarried counterparts.
What are economic benefits of marriage?
Married couples have higher incomes than single men and women.
As a marriage endures, couples have more obligations to each other and tend to be more financially responsible, and more likely to save money. Example: a husband who is skilled at repairing things can save a lot of money for the family; same applies to a wife who is skilled at managing money.
It is important to remember that when marriage partners pool their physical, emotional and economic resources together, the marriage, the family, the community and nation benefits.
UHLP1 YouTube VIDEO
Zooming in on the inborn assets that we each get in the form of a unique set of traits from our Creator at birth. This is personal power.
I was born in the South Bronx, but with my personal power and many of the Hidden Lessons in this series, most of you would be amazed at what I’ve been able to amass in my life.
So, this, I know to be true!
With consistent effort and using UpCulture Hidden Lessons, we can use our power to create and live an elevated life. Our power can never be taken unless we cooperate with the takers. It is always there for us to develop and use, or– it fades away. Never depend on luck or magical thinking. Instead, make it a priority to maximize your gift of inborn traits to rise and live an elevated life.
Marian Wright and Peter Edelman
Thank you so much, EMR, for this NYT ARTICLE link about this couple. Heads of state and the highest officials, including Hillary Clinton, have paid homage to the work of Marian Wright Edelman, the founder of the Children’s Defense Fund, now in its 43rd year!
This woman should have a monument carved for her. Her impact has been so far-reaching and deep. She is an unsung heroine who makes me so proud to share the heritage of women like her! That being said, there were many black-American women of yesteryear of her fiber who carried out amazing missions on various levels, and had matching success records.
This is a part of the reason I know I know what I’m talking about and I cannot be moved. I cannot forget women like her and the many others who never became famous like her. Unlike most younger black American women, I knew some of these women, women of her fiber. I was around them a lot. So, I know I stand on the shoulders of giants. I must do my part to pass on the great legacy of black American women. But all people should preserve the best of their legacy, shouldn’t they? This is among the reasons I’m recording the UpCulture: Hidden Lessons in Your Pocket series. It is so important to me that my granddaughters and the other females and males in my lineage know who we once were–despite our flaws and before the history is re-written to reduce all black-Americans to the parade of black numbskulls, like Ben Carson, who are in the media spotlight these days.
When Marian Wright and Peter Edelman married in July 1968, their wedding was like an armistice. In April, the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. had been assassinated; two months later, Senator Robert F. Kennedy was murdered — on June 6, Mrs. Edelman’s birthday. For years afterward, the couple would spend that day at Arlington Cemetery. The national tragedies were personal for the couple: Mrs. Edelman had worked for Dr. King, and Mr. Edelman had been an aide to the senator. . .
These black-American women of yesteryear are the women I recognize as representing the fiber of true black American women. These are the women I want my granddaughter and women in my lineage to emulate and always hold in the highest [Read more…]
Introduction YOUTUBE Video https://youtu.be/JDEGEh1JNNg
YT Video Title – INTRODUCTION: Snapshot Bio of Evia Moore & Why Hidden Lessons are Priceless 14:05
Prolific blogger on intermarriage, transcultural relationships, uplift for black women, and now creator of the “UpCulture: Hidden Lessons in Your Pocket,” series, Evia Moore provides her snapshot bio in this introductory episode and talks about the purpose of this ongoing series of not-so-obvious but critical life lessons for those who choose to learn the necessary, often hidden lessons needed to come out on top, live an elevated life, and pass on the success strategies and proceeds to future generations.
Happy Valentine’s Day to ALL!
A lot of holidays have no meaning to me, but I have to say I like certain ritual days, like this day. So does Darren, so we always do something special on Valentine’s Day. Unlike certain other commercial powerhouse days, Valentine’s Day celebrates love and we definitely need a LOT more of that in this country and world! So, we usually make something artsy for each other, exchange small gifts, and go out for a memorable activity/dinner.
Darren is a romantic man, so he loves this day! He left for work at 6 a.m. this morning, but before he left, he sneaked the artsy V-Day card (in pic above) that he’d made for me under the afghan on the bed where I was still sleeping. He loves surprising me like that. I machine-knitted him a Valentine heart (above pic), and will give him his favorite Godiva chocolates. Weeks ago, he made reservations for our dinner at a popular restaurant. This year, we have 8 p.m. reservations since he made the reservations early, but some years, we’ve gone to V-Day dinner as late as 10 p.m.
On the political front, I haven’t said much and I won’t. I’ve eliminated my news feed on my computer, and I haven’t watched the TV news since November. I don’t even know what’s going on in the world. Out here where we live, the rest of the world could have disappeared, and I wouldn’t know it. I consider that a good thing. I know some people stress themselves out by watching “the news” all the time, but I don’t need to know the news. I’ve told Darren and my sons to just tell me if/when we need to grab our bug out bags and run for the hills.
As I’ve advised, no matter what’s going on politically, if you count yourself among the average people, it’s foolish to allow anything in the political realm to stress you or interfere with decisions in your most important relationships because politics are guaranteed to change, whereas the damage you’ve done with all the stress to your body has damaged your organs, and for nothing. Never allow politics to get into your romantic life because after the political dust has settled or the direction has changed, you may have passed up or destroyed any romance or chance at romance or a meaningful relationship in your life. Politics are mainly about the movement of BIG money and power and decides which powerful group is going to control the lives of average people. The least average people can do is not allow politicians any input into their significant relationships.
Along with my too-many other enjoyable activities, I have been working on my podcast series for YouTube. A videographer friend of mine did the title sequence for it a few months ago when it was still warm, and she did a great job of capturing us strolling around out here on the grounds of the farm. I’m going to enjoy doing this series because it’s so meaningful to me. It’s especially close to my heart because my sons want me to do it.
I took the following profound quote from the Chase video posted above in the featured box.
When it comes to investing, it helps to adopt a long-term perspective. In this story we see a young boy and girl take the same approach with their relationship. They’re masters of being patient and waiting for the right time, which ultimately yields the best results.
I have always used this exact wisdom in my relationships with men, and I’ve [Read more…]
Darren and Adah, my granddaughter, (above) when she was a little over 2 years old.
It’s been a while! I’ve been involved in plenty of stimulating activities, lots of learning, and reflecting on various things. I’m worn out but loving it all. Thanks to all of you who continue to register for my mailing list. I appreciate you so much.
The election season has come and gone. Whew! I wasn’t surprised that the president-elect won. I never doubted he’d win. That is, until the scandal about the sexual gropings broke. At that point, I thought there might be a chance he’d lose, but he didn’t because the vast majority of women did what the vast majority of women have always done in a patriarchal world. They support the patriarchy. Duh!
So, the only thing I did after the results were announced was to remove the [Read more…]
Thanks, RA for this ARTICLE. Here are Dominique and Dan. She has literally moved on to greener pastures. Lol Fascinating work that Dan does!
(I didn’t post the whole pic of them because I don’t like posting pics of biracial children because it seems to me that some people have an unnatural or creepy attraction to them. Yuck!)
It’s been a while! I tell ya–I’ve been having a good time. I jumped headlong but rolled backwards into inline skating this summer, aka Rollerblading. So, I’ve truly been rocking and rolling. I’ve roller skated and inline skated since I was in my early 20s, but strayed away from the sport for long periods.
I’ve decided now that I want to develop advanced skills in inline skating. Why? [Read more…]
It occurred to me while I was on the skating trail this morning that good skating ability is based on practicing good skating form. Success at many things in life is largely based on good form, usually gained from an assortment of uplifting CULTURAL learnings such as a strong work ethic and having savvy about life.
I’ve had success in marriage and I can confidently say that because I’ve had 2 long, rewarding marriages–not just for me, but also for my husbands–the former and present one.I can assure you that neither of them has any complaints. Lol My marital success is based on good marital form. I’ll be talking about what good marital form entails more in future segments.