Thanks EMR for sending this NYT marriage announcement of this couple. Wishing them a smooth and bountiful life. I zoomed in on what the groom said that attracted him most to her. The article said:
Mr. Savoye was instantly enamored of her.
“I was intrigued by a number of things,” he said, listing her profession — they were both lawyers, but she was in corporate law — her worldliness, and the easy conversation the two shared. Also, he said, “I clearly just found her superattractive.”
So along with her feminine desirability, he found her fascinating. She engaged his mind and his heart, and all else followed. As a mature and worldly woman, I’ve known for decades that men are wildly attracted to and remain with women who can engage their minds and keep it pointed at her. A smart man will stick like glue to a woman like that. This is why I’ve virtually begged black woman in all of my blog articles for over a decade to develop themselves to the utmost in all kinds of ways. This is the greatest aphrodisiac because it will lure and keep the man’s mind and heart forever. Not concerned about a man’s groin because the woman who has engaged a man’s mind and heart will always take priority in his life.
This is why smart men–the men who matter–aren’t dazzled for more than a minute by the women who carry themselves like the Amber Roses or Kim-Ks of the world enough to marry them or remain committed to them. Let’s face it, the smarter men in any small or large region of the world–the men who matter–won’t commit their heart and soul to women of that type, and unless they’re suffering from a severe emotional deficit or mental disability (or are drunk), they definitely and absolutely refuse to mingle their bloodline with them (have children by them), or leave their legacy to them. OMG–NO!
This is not a put-down of women like Amber Rose or Kim-K. There’ve always been and always will be women like them in the world and those women offer what they can. No one should fault them for that. ‘A woman’s gotta do what a woman’s gotta do.’ It’s not their fault that the bottom-feeding, ghetto, aka coonish subculture that apparently most Black American millennials (particularly prominent and a high proportion of other black American males) subscribe to and have exalted and promoted to the world these days–have turned women of this sort into icons of female (wifely) desirability. Males in other groups use women like them for sex, but NOT for marriage, and this has always been the case. As a devotee of Anthropology, there is rarely anything new under the sun. Male hormones have not changed one bit. It’s overwhelmingly the group of bottom-feeding black American adult-age males who have placed women like these women on a pedestal and promoted them as having wifely and motherhood traits. These males have championed these women in every media form available to them because these males are severely defective/damaged in their thinking. So many black people (in particular) either refuse to or are unable to see that or continue to overlook/forget that.
Unfortunately, this means that the vast majority of young black American boys are strongly influenced by adult-aged black males in their social and media environment to pursue the Amber Rose-KimK and other stripper type women as love-interests, serious partners, mothers of their children, or wives. It is just a fact that if even worms are promoted and advertised enough, many people–of a certain type–will start viewing worms as a delicacy.
Fortunately, the overwhelming most of other males in the world, the smarter ones, still strongly pursue quality women.
Sadly many black American women have entered the lowest period of black American women’s existence because they try to look and behave like the Ambers and Kim-Ks in order to catch the eye of off-thinking black males. Beyond sad! This is the equivalent of a curse on black American women. Black people can deny this all they want, but all anyone has to do is look at how lowly black American women, who mainly chase after and desire these bottom feeding males–have sunk. A curse doesn’t get any worse than that–for any group of woman–because the status of any group of women (and their children) in the world is joined with the men with whom those women choose to mingle. What’s most terrible about this is that the black American women who don’t think like this or don’t do this have not found a clean, effective way to separate themselves from those who do.
Keep trying! This kind of insanity is the reason why I’ve sometimes labeled myself as a PAB (passing as black).
Many black Americans will dispute this and (some black American women have even wanted and actually tried to literally hurt me for saying this.) They claim that even many non-black women want or prefer a bottom feeding black man. Yes, some white and other nonblack women choose to mingle with bottom-feeding black males, but non-black women (particularly the white ones) have the white privilege that they later on use to dust themselves off and say they went insane for a minute. They are usually then forgiven by other whites and accepted back among them. The population of black-white biracial children has grown astronomically and according to statistics that I’ve cited here before, a high percentage (more than 80%) of black-white (and other) biracial children have been abandoned by their black fathers and are now living with their non-black babymama moms on government subsidies. Or these mothers place their biracial children in adoption homes and walk away from them because this is how some non-black women get rid of the evidence of this insane time in their lives. They get rid of their mistake and go on with their lives. Others change their identity to an extent or hide their past in other ways. Black women seldom have this privilege of hiding their past. Many other non-white women in world don’t have this privilege either and this is why they steer clear of the bottom-feeder type men.
EMR, thanks a bunch for this note from you:
My husband and I are happily settled in SoCal. I’ve left the boarding school and am working at a progressive school right near the shore outside LA. We are looking for an apt halfway between both our jobs and closer to the beach. In a few weeks we’ll celebrate our 7th anniversary! I can hardly believe how fast it’s gone. He and I work really well together to accomplish our goals and work towards our dreams.
I hope (I know) you and Darren are enjoying life. I, too, meet black women my age who seem ‘bewildered’ by their social circumstances. They are still waiting for permission, to travel, to date, to try new hobbies. On the bright side, I see all kinds of black women in LA with their partners, lots of Asian male spouses, lots of quirky, artsy lovely young women enjoying life.
My best to you!
Congratulations on your upcoming 7th year marriage anniversary! Darren and I have been together for about 17 years now. Marriage has its highs, and it has its lows, but if a woman has vetted her guy, and they’re both committed to building a lasting relationship, the rewards are so worth it. Tremendous, multi-layered benefits–most of which are invisible. It’s so hard to explain this to those who have not found a CQLL partner and have not married. I have lately stopped trying.
So good to hear that many of those black women in LA have caught the clue and are securing partners! I know that some of them will not always choose the best quality men, but they can never learn to hit the ball if they don’t practice swinging at it. LOL! NO woman needs to go through life unpartnered. After all, we know from evo-bio-Anthropology that ever woman can get a male, but not every male can get a female. This is true of 99.999% of the females and males of all species on earth.