Marian Wright and Peter Edelman
Thank you so much, EMR, for this NYT ARTICLE link about this couple. Heads of state and the highest officials, including Hillary Clinton, have paid homage to the work of Marian Wright Edelman, the founder of the Children’s Defense Fund, now in its 43rd year!
This woman should have a monument carved for her. Her impact has been so far-reaching and deep. She is an unsung heroine who makes me so proud to share the heritage of women like her! That being said, there were many black-American women of yesteryear of her fiber who carried out amazing missions on various levels, and had matching success records.
This is a part of the reason I know I know what I’m talking about and I cannot be moved. I cannot forget women like her and the many others who never became famous like her. Unlike most younger black American women, I knew some of these women, women of her fiber. I was around them a lot. So, I know I stand on the shoulders of giants. I must do my part to pass on the great legacy of black American women. But all people should preserve the best of their legacy, shouldn’t they? This is among the reasons I’m recording the UpCulture: Hidden Lessons in Your Pocket series. It is so important to me that my granddaughters and the other females and males in my lineage know who we once were–despite our flaws and before the history is re-written to reduce all black-Americans to the parade of black numbskulls, like Ben Carson, who are in the media spotlight these days.
When Marian Wright and Peter Edelman married in July 1968, their wedding was like an armistice. In April, the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. had been assassinated; two months later, Senator Robert F. Kennedy was murdered — on June 6, Mrs. Edelman’s birthday. For years afterward, the couple would spend that day at Arlington Cemetery. The national tragedies were personal for the couple: Mrs. Edelman had worked for Dr. King, and Mr. Edelman had been an aide to the senator. . .
These black-American women of yesteryear are the women I recognize as representing the fiber of true black American women. These are the women I want my granddaughter and women in my lineage to emulate and always hold in the highest esteem and emulate, and teach their children about–not the rich but tragic, glittery imposters that young black women are barraged with these days. I consider these types as tragic because all they represent and all they’ll be remembered for is their money, surgical enhancements, and assorted blingy clothes, tattoos, etc. But don’t get me wrong. I have no problem with surgical and other enhancements, if they’re gotten for the sake of actual uplift and maintaining it for generations. Lol! ALL women who can and could afford it have engaged in enhancing themselves. It’s only black American women who are heavy criticism for enhancing themselves. You have to look at who is doing the criticism and dismiss them, though some of the women do go over the top and do it for nothing of significance. More about this in an upcoming video podcast.
But, while I’m on the topic, let me mention that with few exceptions, the overwhelming most of men in the world have no problem with women enhancing themselves. This is normal for women, and it’s been so since the beginning of human existence. I definitely want the women in my lineage to always remember that and stay doing what works for normal women.
So, may the Edelmans’ love endure and grow finer! Naturally, I agree wholeheartedly with you, EMR, when you say:
You have to be on the same page about the most important things, and then work like heck to help make the other’s life a little lighter, whatever that means for you both as you grow into the people you’ll become. I’ve only been married six and a half years, but that’s what I’ve learned. This is why I think a shared value system is THE most important trait to a mutually beneficial marriage. All the other stuff is just fluff.
I have been in 2 uplifting marriages for the span of a lot of decades, practically all of my adult life. So I, without any doubt, can cosign your thoughts about the importance of a shared value system. This, I know to be true from the uplifting differences it’s made in my life and from numerous observations of the long-lasting as well as the failed relationships of others. It’s sad that so many younger people believe to the core of their being that the monumental choice of a spouse/life partner and parent for their child should be based on mostly physical attraction and looks. Omg! This is all the more tragic because each of us only has one period of youth and only one life, yet these 20-somethings and 30-somethings base the most important decision in their lives AND their children’s fate (for generations to come) on curves, muscles, and how supposedly good-looking a person of the opposite sex might be. Looks, alone, have absolutely nothing to do with quality.
As a person who studies cultures from antiquity until now, it is a fact that many who are considered the most attractive or desirable today were not considered so–decades ago and definitely not centuries ago. Also, attractiveness and desirability are popular opinion-based–not facts. Yet fate is real. Poverty may be relative to an extent, but it is still real in its place and time. It is not based on an opinion. My point is that, if anyone, for ex., impoverishes their children by primarily getting them a pretty mother or a hunky dad, that child’s fate is sealed in poverty for a very long time, if not forever. And poverty is not always financial. Sometimes, other types of poverty are just as devastating or even worse. I’ll elaborate on that, too, in upcoming video podcasts.
I’m not suggesting that anyone accept anyone with a grotesque appearance. LOL! The fact is that most people are in the average range of looks because that’s what average means. It’s really mind-boggling that judging by general media, as well as social and print media, so many men and women in this country these days are holding out for the top 2% of the most gorgeous women or handsomest men. Aside from the fact that the concept of attractiveness is fabricated and manipulated (and we know this because it changes), it’s also mathematically impossible for the remaining 98% of men or women to get one of the gorgeous 2%!
Yet, there is a real life quest to secure this fantasy. Yes, when I was in my teens, 20s and 30s, we all looked at fantasy people presented to us on TV, in movies, in magazines, and enjoyed the entertainment value of it, but we knew they weren’t real. It was only entertainment. But these days, there is a huge number of people in that age range and even older who actually believe that these fantasies are real people and can actually be obtained. So, they become disappointed, enraged, depressed and sometimes, violent when they can’t secure their fantasy mate. The news is full of these stories these days. I’m just pointing out this insanity and documenting this. Yes, this has always happened to an extent, by it’s an epidemic now.
But, every situation breeds opportunities, so I’ll be talking about some of those in one of my UpCulture: Hidden Lessons in Your Pocket podcasts.
It is simply a fact that long-lasting, rewarding, contented relationships/marriages are based largely on shared VALUES.
These are the successful relationships that I’m referring to when I urge black women to act like a laser beam in pinpointing the most CQLL (compatible, quality, loving, lovable) man they can find. That is not based on whether he has the same ethnicity, race, nationality, etc. as the woman. I’ve stated this many times and in many ways in my hundreds of articles, but it goes over the heads of many who read what I say. I know this because of many of the notes I’ve received via email and from phone chats I’ve had with readers and listeners over the 10 years I blogged. They stay focused almost fully on surface things like outward appearance, race, ethnicity, nationality, etc. because that’s how they were shaped.
A relationship is simply not going to last for long or be satisfactory or rewarding if the woman and man don’t share the same key values, and those common key values can be found among many populations. Those key values are embedded in many people of all groups all around the world and around the corner from you, though the carrier of those values may speak a different language, have a starkly different skin shade, and have a different cultural background.
Another thing is that I’m reading and hearing from the media that some people in certain camps are busy trying to serve up another table full of okey-dokes to black-American women–with all of the chatter about unity. There would be nothing better if this unity were actually based on shared VALUES. But no one ever mentions shared values. Meanwhile, that doesn’t stop certain people from trying to herd upwardly-aspiring black American women toward men who do not share their values. This doesn’t mean that the men or women are bad or good; it just means that the vast majority of these women and men are not compatible. There can not be lasting unity without sharing key values.
So, I’m pointing this out. This is deja vu for me. I’ve seen all of this, heard all of this chatter before back in the 1980s and saw how the bulk of black American women were floored with these SAME okey-dokes and had their time, money, bodies, and energy used, during and after the Black Power movement. So many black American women are still trying to get out of that mind-warp they were sucked into at that point. Some of them are sadly stumbling around like chickens without heads, trying to figure out what’s going on and why. What happened is that they were clubbed with brain-demolishing okey dokes and they’re still hanging onto them, trying to find truth somewhere inside those okey-dokes. They still want to believe these lies!
So many cannot understand this or refuse to learn the lesson! This results in untold misery and devastated lives, for just too many adults and the children. I will not go along with this. I still don’t see, read, or hear where any black-American woman of any visibility is taking center stage to say this clearly or loudly enough. Maybe they just can’t see it. Or don’t know it? But I will use my little podium to state it clearly, for the sake of my grandchildren and those on down the line in my lineage and anyone else who cares to learn these lessons. If the lessons are not learned, they will continue to re-appear, until learned. Black-American women have sat quietly for decades, and allowed their image to be ground into the dirt. That “unity okey-doke” is one of the main ones that keeps many of them quiet. They fear that things could get worse if there isn’t unity while the worst is already happening or has happened to them and their daughters!
I realize that some of you might not be comfortable with some of what I’m saying, especially when I talk about that unity okey-doke. LOL I know that’s probably the most sacred and most effective okey-doke of all. Let me be clear for anyone who reads this now and in the future. I practice unity and reciprocity with anyone who practices them with me. But anyone who gives me any inkling that unity is a one-way street that benefits only them is a person I can cross off without any afterthought. I guess I’m fortunate in that I don’t feel any guilt of that type for crossing off people who don’t practice reciprocity with me. I was raised to practice real reciprocity–not mere words. As I’ve mentioned many times, I was raised on a farm and farm life is based on what works or real results, not theory, not words, not mere warm fuzzy feelings. My upbringing has worked wonders for me. I want those in my lineage to be that way and must teach their children to be that way.
So, my content now is dedicated to and mostly geared to my grandchildren and others in my lineage. I want others to listen and benefit, but I won’t debate anymore. I’ve advised many of you with exhaustive details for 10 years about the utter importance of “moving on,” and FAST, but many of you thought you had a lot of time to just read these blogs, throw darts at people who don’t value or even like you, and be entertained. I knew that you didn’t have that time. I knew that one day, I’d have to turn off my news feed to block out the aftermath of so many of you not moving on FAST when you should have and could have.