Thanks DP for this video normalizing bw's increasing awareness of their increased mating options and showing that various men in the global village are also aware of their increased options re bw.
Remember that prior to recently, many wm in the U.S., especially, were not aware that bw are interested in dating a wider selection of men. Just a couple of decades ago, a typical white guy would have NEVER publicly looked twice at this woman since she's black (or obviously not white). Even these days, many wm refuse to publicly look twice at even the most beautiful bw he may see in a public arena.
Some people think that racism has only impacted blacks in the U.S. Not true. It has also had an insidious impact on whites too. For ex., look around. The bulk of white males/men have been well-trained to ignore the natural attraction of a normal man to an appealing woman (IF she's a bw) and instead follow the racial codes that are entrenched in the minds of many in the U.S. that tell him not to look at her. Over time, this unnaturalness affects wm too. I've talked to some wm who've said that they had to convince themselves that an attractive bw was not really attractive--that a relationship with her would never work.
Any time, we're forced to deviate from what's most natural, we have to know it causes disruptive harm to us on a psychic level. In some cases, I know we can't do what's natural. I get that. But what's more natural than adult male-female attraction?
So, the pics and videos I post here also help to free the natural male impulses of white males also.
So to those wm who write to me thanking me for doing this, I take this opportunity to say to all of you: You are Welcome!
BTW: Here's an excerpt from an article in the ATLANTIC Magazine re how Lupita deliberately put her beauty on Front Street. She made sure to accentuate her skin shade, her lips, her hair, etc. instead of try to cover it up or disguise it in Euro camouflage. Smart young lady! Great strategy! For years, some of us in the Uncommonly Common Sense/BWE camp have been urging AA women to do the same.
A young woman recently sent me this ARTICLE supposedly based on "research findings." My issue with these findings is that they are used here to aim at bw's relatively low marriage rate in the U.S. Where are the similar "findings" about the same-group men who are slated to marry these women?
So--Yeah right! I could see right away WHO stood to benefit the absolute most from this self-serving article, that does contain a sprinkling of common sense truths. Remember that in order for a BIG lie to be swallowed, it must be seasoned with a few traces of truth. That's what I see in this article.
None other than a certain group of MEN stand to benefit from the way these "findings" are used here. I'll let y'all figure out who they are. LOL! Clue: They have the most atrociously low marriage rates in the U.S.--even among the ones of them who have the financial wherewithal to get married. Notice that I said "even when they have the wherewithal."
As a matter of fact, I would NOT even expect men who don't have the financial wherewithal to get married because a man is STILL supposed to position himself to reasonably provide for his family, if he wants to receive the respect that many men complain these days that they don't get from women. I'm an ethnographer and I can definitely say and present material to show that this is why most cultures or societies, throughout history, have socialized males to "reasonably" prepare themselves for the financial responsibility of marriage BEFORE they marry or enter a serious relationship with a woman.
It was my ex-husband who clearly explained what "reasonable" means in this context. He told me when we first got married: "I may not be able to provide a mansion for you and our expected children to live in and I may not be able to afford to buy caviar to eat, BUT I will provide a reasonable quality roof to cover you and feed you and them." And he DID much better than that because we lived WELL--all of the years of our marriage. He's still doing that with his present wife and I chose a similar man--Darren, my present husband--for my 2nd marriage.
I am the recipient of a living well life. I'm SO THANKFUL!!
And we made sure that our now adult sons "reasonably" prepared themselves to meet the financial responsibility of marriage.
I'm just speaking common sense here. Much in life is STILL a trade-off. Too many people these days are UNREALISTIC about their romantic mate value. They have barely anything to trade and get angry when they can't exchange cheap rocks for diamonds. I see this happening with men and women. Probably, the typical man who was questionned for this "research" has much less to trade than he thinks he has. He wants an A-level woman when he's a C/D-level man. Even if he can get the A-level woman, the relationship will not work. People really need to be approximately "equally yoked." Go ahead and try to prove me wrong.
This article? Statistics can be used to prove or disprove anything. LOL! It's clear that some of these low-marriage-rate guys have spurred or spawned an "explanation" industry. They know their LOW marriage rates are shameful when viewed on the world stage, so they constantly find ways to "explain" why they don't marry black women, the main women who they're sexing, the main group of women who are their children's moms, the main group of women who are most supportive of them. Some of these same guys WILL marry "lacking" women from other groups, but some of them then "blame" bw for not being marriage material. This article, for ex, is aimed at bw and essentially says that if a bw is worthy or the RIGHT kind of woman, then a man of their type will marry her, so if she's not getting married, then oh well--she needs to go and contort herself some more--become more worthy.
So, we now will see more of these okey doke articles using "research" to explain why bm "just can't" . . . marry bw. Or we will continue to see research that assures bw that they'll be married by the time they're in their 30s-40s. SMH
Anyway, I've told y'all that the okey dokes were going to become notched up, get more sophisticated to keep bw--especially--contained--waiting, hoping, and praying--and all the while "investing" their time, energy, and providing their financial resources to carry the black "community" that rarely or never RECIPROCATES. Even when the bc (black community/black construct) does reciprocate, it is NEVER even nearly on par with what's given. This is the process that keeps the bulk of bw who operate in this community/construct POOR in various ways: financially, healthwise, emotionally, spiritually, etc.
Yes, I do know that many involved in orchestrating this okey-doke are black women themselves who continue this farce in order to keep other bw contained there with them. It's a cliche, but 'misery does love company.' Many bw do NOT want other bw to "escape" and leave them there. And too, many AA women seem to have the alter ego of the "Amazon" woman. They feel they can fix the "community" all by themselves. LOL!
A wide cross section (various incomes/class levels) of AA woman I know who are now in their 40s, 50s, and 60s are STRUGGLING and sometimes at even the most gritty level (cleaning houses in some cases or engaging in physically straining, exhaustive work) to make ends meet, and it's just heart-breaking for me to watch this. Did I mention they also are NEVER/NOT married to CQLL men and don't mingle with men who know how to play their position as men.
These are all women who were/are undoubtedly upwardly mobile in their life aspirations. So, I'm talking about bw who did all of the supposed "right" things. Like everyone else, they're flawed but they delayed gratification, went for higher education, worked--sometimes--2 jobs for periods of their lives, raised children (often alone), sacrificed and GAVE, GAVE, GAVE to others and now some of them are virtually impoverished. These women are NOT slouches in any way, but they made bad decisions in terms of the use of their resources. Plainly said: they listened to the okey-dokes. They mainly GAVE away huge amounts of time, energy, MONEY, etc. during their youth to family members, the black "commuinity" etc. and these entities did/do NOT reciprocate even nearly on par. If you continue to give a dollar and only get a nickel in exchange, you will always be poor. Aren't I brilliant at arithemetic? LOL It's not just about reciprocity, it's about reciprocity ON PAR, at least most of the time.
Unfortunately, many bw--who are trying to figure out why the men they're "helping" or jumping through hoops for won't marry them--will believe this "research" and continue to jump through hoops or pray or try to contort themselves to be the woman chosen by these guys. More disturbing it that some of these women who obviously did/do want to get married have convinced themselves that they really don't want to get married. I would suggest that before a typical bw should pay any serious attention to these articles, wait for other certifiied research bodies to replicate this study and do more-in-depth, unbiased, "nuanced" research and consider the various other loaded factors. As I recalled a prominent bm radio host saying a few years ago, and I paraphrase, "If you're in a 'relationship' with a man and he refuses to marry you after a reasonable amount of time, there's a very high probability that YOU are just a placeholder while he's looking for the woman who he will marry." DUH!
However, if you read the comments on this article, y'all can see the group who got hit by the okey-doke once again. (Sigh) I don't usually read comments on articles since the comments will just usually turn your brain to mush, but I waded through some of these. I was happy to see that SOME of the women there have caught at least the glimpse of a clue. YAY!