Okay, some of y'all know by now that I'm a doting grandmother to a bubbly little girl named Ada (pronounced ah-dah in the Igbo language). I spend lots of hours each week with Ada and she is highly verbal. I talk with her a lot and she talks a lot to me in her made up language. lol I realize that she doesn't understand most of what I'm saying, but sometimes here, I will direct some of my posts to her. I already know she'll be reading the Ezine soon because she loves to read.
This morning, the "news" is all aflutter about First Lady, Michelle Obama's "new" hairdo. I was thrilled to see her with this hairstyle because she looks stunningly beautiful with the shaved-off hair look.
But I would have loved to see her with her hair actually shaved off. She is really beautiful and her face can clearly be seen in this hairstyle without being hidden by hair. If more black woman of her stature actually wore their hair in this style, it would go a long way toward helping black women accept that their hair is THEIR hair--of whatever texture and length, and is a part of their cultural heritage, the same as the hair of any other woman's. This would quickly put an end to so many black women fixating on their hair and openly expressing angst about their hair, discussing it on talk shows and the like. Since so many black women have publicly opened the door to be picked apart about their hair, naturally everyone now openly discusses black women's hair.
Hair is hair; anything else is an illusion. Hair is dead matter, like long fingernails. It is not a valuable "substance." It is not something that you should ever invest much time, energy, thought, or money in because in the short and long run, it's a complete waste of those valuable resources.
Ada, your hair should be clean, healthy, and arranged in ways to flatter your features. Many black women would look beautiful--just like the First Lady does--with this hairstyle. That's all that should matter to people who may want to matter to you. Here's a shortcut to satisfaction and ease in life: Surround yourself ONLY with at least a few people who add and continue to add value to your life. Those are the only ones whose opinions matter.
You will hear that "everyone is entitled to their opinion," but here's the thing: All opinions are NOT equal. ONLY those opinions that have proven throughout time to withstand the test of time or to have actual cultural value are worth listening to, and you must learn early to dismiss mostly all opinions. Most opinions are instant garbage. You may briefly examine a small segment of opinions for any kernel of value, but be ever-ready to toss most opinions in the trash totally and instantly.
Anyone who doesn't accept and appreciate your hair the way it grows from your scalp is a person whose total set of opinions or entire thought system you must quickly keep at a distance, question, and usually discard. Likewise, anyone who tells you your hair is better than someone else's hair is also someone whose thought system you must keep at a distance. Both of these viewpoints stem from the poison that those individuals have swallowed. Never allow their poison to get into you. And they're going to try their hardest to make you share their poison because people who have been poisoned love to share their poison with others. Always be on guard against that.
When you and I go out sometimes, I notice that lots of women tend to compliment your looks, but it's interesting how black women tend to make specific comments about your hair. They like something about your type of hair. There are historical reasons for this that I or your dad will explain to you one day, but comments about your hair will probably happen to you throughout your life. Thank them for their compliments since that shows good manners. Be happy that these are not attacking comments, but never believe that what they like about your hair is rooted in any healthy substance.
I want you to stay grounded in reality and make the most of your life by investing yourself in substance--things like family, other wholesome relationships, maintaining your health, developing your innate talents, skills, and abilities, expanding your mind and spiritual growth--in every way possible.
Investing in SUBSTANCE is simply another very valuable "best cultural practice."