Thanks, EMR for the link to this video and thanks for this comment:
It’s so unfortunate that these young women allow tripe from bottom feeders to spoil their happiness, make them cry, stress them out! The fact is that their internal organs are being stressed because they read these comments or listen to them!
Parents really need to prepare their children to be immune to the various sorts of bottom feeders. Some of them are not the lowlifes on the street or peanut brains who hide behind computers and write nasty comments. Some may have ivy league degrees or have a corner office in the corporate suite. Or the minister at the church. Or the lady in charge of the girl scout troop. Some of them may even be your parents, themselves. LOL!
One thing for sure is that all bottom feeders have a wide streak of misery in their lives. And you know what the saying is about misery.These folks typically don’t have much of a life, so they live vicariously through others who they find online, in the media, or in their surroundings.
When I started blogging, I was amazed at the number of people who thought they were inside my relationship with Darren. LOL! They were actually trying to participate in MY marriage and have a say in my activities with my husband, and became angry when I didn’t dialogue with them. Some of them even wanted me to get Darren involved in my blog, so that they could talk with him! LOL!
Another thing I’ve noticed constantly is that so many people THINK that they need to tell grown black responsible, happily-situated black WOMEN who are NOT asking for anything–WHAT TO DO. They constantly try to tell us what to do or what we should or shouldn’t think or feel. They want to take charge of a black woman’s thinking so they can direct her to draw faulty conclusions. For ex., they bring NO VALUE to our table, yet they want us to think that they do. LOL! AS IF WE’RE LITTLE STUPID GIRLS. And what’s so hilarious about this is that the typical one of these folks is NOT doing nearly as well as we happily situated folks are doing. Imagine that! Folks who don’t even have a pot will try to tell me that I should NOT be living well.
My mother told me a long time ago: “Be very careful about listening to anyone who’s not doing as well as you’re doing. Sift through what they say for any kernel that may be helpful, but usually these folks are jealous of you or miserable or both.”
These Mowery women are LIVING WELL; they’re expressing their marital happiness, yet some folks are trying to tell them they’re doing something wrong!
I’ve noticed, however, that NO ONE tries to tell Darren, a happily-situated white man, any of this. I’ve never observed ANYONE try to give him unsolicited advice or have the audacity to comment on his life to him, or expect him to enagage in a conversation with them about HIS life, or express outrage if he’s not interested in talking to them.
Some people feel entitled to black women and do not react well when black women ignore them. However, this entitlement expresses itself in various ways. Often when a black woman or even a PAB (passing as black) woman like me ignores them, the automatic reaction is: “Who do you think YOU are? Or “You’re not all that!” Wrong–I want my delightful little granddaughter to know that she is all that and she must require the people who she allows to surround her to affirm her in various ways. If not, she must cut them loose, quickly, and clear the space for those who will–just like her grandmother has done throughout my life. It may not always be easy to do this, but it must be done.
Unfortunately, too many black women cave in and give these folks what they want. Their time, energy, attention, money, etc. I’m sure some folks are doing a happy dance that these Mowery women are weeping.
Note that I’m talking here about happily-situated people. I’m obviously not referring to people who are asking for help. For ex., these Mowery women are happily-situated women.
Only a miserable person would have this kind of stake in someone’s else life. The men these women married is no one else’s business.
ONLY if I have invested in a person or their business or their life would I feel I have a say in it. That’s when I would expect reciprocity or else! And that’s when I might have something to say. BUT it’s my CHOICE to invest in any way in any person. This is why I’ve told black women countless times that they have no say in who any black man is with IF they keep their pocketbooks closed, don’t support them, don’t defend them. However, after you invest in or support or defend a person, you have no control over who they may decide to share your investment with, so you must very, very CAREFULLY VET any person and any situation BEFORE you invest your time, energy, money, hopes or dreams.
So I would ask anyone who’s hurling insults at these Mowery women: How MUCH have YOU invested in them? And I want to see the PROOF of your investment in them. LOL! Did they ask for it? Did they force you to watch their show? YOU didn’t have to watch it. I did watch their show and I’m happy with the fine young women they’ve become. I wish them maximum happiness.
If you put an unsolicited investment in them, then they owe YOU nothing.
And even if someone solicits your investment, you cannot collect unless you have leverage. For ex., some black people voted for Pres. Obama, and now feel he’s thumbed his nose at them. PLEASE!
And if you’re the type of person who invests your hopes and dreams in a person you see on TV or someone with whom you have NO connection, then get ready to be disappointed!
One of the things I succeeded at doing quite well with my children is that I religiously taught them to ignore bottom feeders. I would give myself a high-B grade on that. My sons are grown men now, living their lives and they sometimes talk about how they keep bottom feeders at the bottom of their lives. I told my sons all about bottom feeding lingo–even the sophisticated type–and the types of tentacles that bottom feeders use to try to hang onto people and pull them down. I told them that even IF I or their dad started talking or acting like a bottom-feeder–that they should ignore us. The fact is that bottom-feeding mentality is contagious, so I couldn’t guarantee them that I would never get infected.